Apparently, someone did not like my Valentine's Day Button Heart. So they got VERY personal, attacking me, my projects, and my family. Turns out, Valentine's Day crafts can really provoke people. Who knew.
I've read about this on a lot of other blogs and I've seen a lot of different reactions. Some blow it off, some attack back, and some take it personally and get very defensive. I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm a softy, so mean things sting. But I'm also a big believer in boundaries. So below, I've included my philosophy on negative comments and how I handle them in the hopes that maybe it will be helpful to another blogger out there.
1. My blog, my house.
If people come to my house and are hateful to me or my family, I make them leave. Same applies for my blog. Nasty, personal attacks get deleted. Period. Borderline nasty comments get deleted. Sometimes, respectfully critical comments that I'm not in the mood to read get deleted. You know why? Because it's my blog, I can do what I want.
2. Anonymous=coward.
Isn't it funny how 99.9% of hateful comments are anonymous? People who post hateful comments anonymously are cowards, plain and simple. I have no respect for that so I'm certainly not going to allow their comment to take up space on my blog. If you're bold enough to say it, be bold enough to sign your name to it.
3. "I disagree."
I've had a few comments in the past that were critical that I've left up. I'm fine with constructive criticism (keyword "constructive") and ok with negative feedback, as long as it's respectful. My usual response to someone who disagrees with me is a simple "I disagree" or I don't respond at all. If I feel like my message has been misunderstood, I ask them to email me so that I can clarify.
4. Not everyone is going to like me.
And I'm completely ok with that. If everyone liked me all of the time, then I'm living a lie. Of course I would love for everyone who came across this blog to love it but that's just not going to happen. Good news is, there are plenty of people who do and for that I am very grateful:)
So what about you? How do you handle ugly comments?
I'm linking up at some of these great parties and Savvy Southern Style, Debbiedoos, Between Naps on the Porch
I, too, have been blogging for about 6 months. No nasty comments (yet). I don't handle negativity very well, so I'd probably just delete them and pout for a while!
ReplyDeleteI think you have a stronger personality than I do, but I agree, just like someone at your house, it's your blog. But it's also the internet, where people are free to say anything they want from the comfort of behind a computer screen.
I hear ya Ali! It's easy to write mean things when you don't have to face them or even sign your name. A little scary actually. Thanks so much for stopping by:)
DeleteHi Katie,
ReplyDeleteI went back and looked at your heart project and can't imagine anyone having problems with it. I try to remember that when people aren't nice to me it's because it's all about them, not me. Maybe they have had a bad situation in their lives and they are taking it out on the wrong person. Or maybe it's jealousy. Anyway, you have a great blog here and your projects are really cute!
Patty
Thank you so much Patty! I completely agree with you that it was about them and not me. I mean, it's not like I write about controversial topics, you know? It was a button heart. I appreciate you stopping by:)
DeleteOh Katie! I know how hard it's to get over with those nasty anonymous comments, I've had a couple of those myself and I think they are down right so disrespectful! I agree with you all the way on how to handle it! I love your blog.
ReplyDeleteThanks Cristina!!! Love yours too:)
DeleteI had to go and check out the heart too. I can't see why anyone would want to make a nasty comment it's a lovely project. You can't please everyone but I don't understand in their spare time why they would want to waste it being mean to a complete stranger. Reaction is personal do whatever makes you comfortable.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it ridiculous? It's a button heart. I agree with that...reaction is personal, do whatever makes you comfortable. Great point.
DeleteI get more spam comments than rude or nasty. A Valentine's button heart post got a nasty comment? Thanks just ridiculous! I'm sure you're creation was great and this person is just nasty.
ReplyDeleteHope your week is fantastic!
Isn't it crazy Mary? Thanks so much and I hope you have a great week too!
DeleteI am with Katie. You have a fantastic blog. You inspire people with your creativity! Especially me! Cheers.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. That is so kind of you to say. Have a great week!
DeleteI don't know how anyone can write a mean comment about a craft project. I also don't know why people waste their time to say things that are not nice. I love your blog and am inspired by your projects. Keep up the great work and just delete any comments you'd like to. Megan
ReplyDeleteI don't know either Megan! It's a CRAFT. PROJECT. People are crazy. Thanks so much for the kind words, I really appreciate it:)
DeleteWhat in the world?? I'm totally perplexed as to why someone would leave a mean comment about that project. I don't think I've EVER left a mean comment, anywhere. If I disagree, I just move on. No need to be catty. Strong personality types need to be heard I guess??
ReplyDeleteKeep up your lovely projects.
Hugs,
Meredith
That is so sweet of you to say Meredith, thank you. And I was perplexed too! How ridiculous. Grow up people.
DeleteI totally dont understand how someone could be mean about that cute piece! I think I would address that there is no tolerance for that. If people don't like your stuff and can't be nice or constructive don't visit... So there. Lol
ReplyDeleteLOL! Love it Jodi and I completely agree!
DeleteI think all your projects are great! I don't get people who do this! If you don't like, don't read! Some people really need to get life. I got my first nasty comment when I was blogging for only 2 months and I remember feeling the same way you did!
ReplyDeleteDoesn't it just go right through you? I swear Lena, I bet if people HAD to sign their names to their comments, there wouldn't be nearly as many ugly ones out there. Ridiculous!
DeleteIsn't it sad that some people are so dissatisfied with their own lives they look for places to ooze some of it out. GROSS I'm not a blogger but if I read something or see something and don't like it or it doesn't move me I just go on to the next blog. Life is stressful enough without somebody being abusive or unpleasant. I'm really sorry anybody thinks it's ok to be stinky to another person enough to say something rude to bloggers.
ReplyDeleteAn old friend came to visit this past Fall. Everything I had done to personalize our home, make different things she's not familiar with she was quite rude about. She actually said why did I make such unnecessary things to clutter up the house or the walls.
The day before she left I gave her a tea towel with utensils transferred on it. She asked me what she was supposed to do with it in a very critical tone of voice. I just said if she didn't want it she could leave it here. She had been visiting in her motor home. She'd been here about 3 yrs ago also and was the same way. I thought it was me being too sensitive. She said I'd been unpleasant to her and I said I was sorry, didn't want to get into a big harangue with her and that's how it would be, it's either her way or no way. If I dare to stand up for myself then she acts all huffy and hurt like I did something to her.
She likes to be in control of everything. I think we've grown apart thru the years. I've stayed married 44 years, she's been divorced 9 times, she talks to my husband much more than me. This isn't only reason I'm not pleased with her behavior, she's rude to me in my own home about my home. If she suggests coming to stay again I won't encourage it as I just don't think we're that kind of friends anymore. She also bad talked about her own sister.
Good for you not letting people be rude. It's just not necessary. Happy week
That's so hurtful, especially since it was your home and it was a friend. You were definitely NOT being too sensitive. I couldn't imagine going into anyone's home and judging how they decorated it. It's them, it's authentic, it's a preference thing not a right or wrong thing. Sounds like she isn't a very happy person. And isn't it ironic how offended people like that get when you stand up for yourself?
DeleteThank you so much for the kind words. I hope you have a wonderful week!
I've had a few but it's some smarty that wants to come over and correct my grammar. I delete those comments then I go take it out on my poor hubby. Ha-ha! I have replied if there was a way but like you said they are usually cowards and post anonymously. Just shake it off and if you need to vent I'm here. I'll understand...:-)
ReplyDeleteHello everyone! I too, find it cowardice of those to leave their messages without a name. Makes them feel "tough", I'd imagine. Kind of like an "I told YOU!" That's about as offensive or maniacal as a box full of kittens. I would never leave nasty or rude comments on a persons blog, FB, pinterest, whatever the case may be. Tho, I have a FB, I choose not to blog. For fear of this very topic. If I were to get put down, or chastised for MY creative ideas (NOT the criticizer's), I don't feel I could let it roll off, of keep my mouth shut....not be dirty back. I'm almost 40 years old,I have 2 boys and a husband and all my life I've been a very defensive person. I don't blame it on how I was raised. I don't blame it on the friends I keep. Or on my current family life, I've been very blessed. It's just my personal attitude, I figured it would change with time and age. God knows I want to, and try very hard to just hit delete. I end it. I have the upper hand. So why don't I?? The search for an answer continues...... BTW, I've looked at all your blogs, you are all so very talented. If one of you would post how to slice an apple without totally mutilating it, I'd greatly appreciate that!!! <3 Shannon
ReplyDeleteKatie. I am dealing with the same thing right now. Someone actually created several posts on a forum about how ugly my house is and craft projects that I do are tacky. Your post is exactly how I feel. It is my blog and I make the rules. Thanks for cheering me up.
ReplyDelete